A Single Day of Spring

It was a warm, almost springlike day today. The energy in the city changed, as though the hope for better, warmer, brighter days ahead went directly to people's brains and messed with the circuitry. Like deer caught up in the passion and promise of spring, people seemed distracted, there was more jostling, more bumping, more touching of strangers as people reached out, accidentally or in spite of themselves. This didn't always end well, as some of the touching led to verbal spats, this is New York, after all, but there was some force that seemed to be driving connection, pushing people together, drawing people out of their commuter catatonia, if only for a moment.

At lunch, my sweetheart met me for lunch and we sat in a park near my workplace and as the sun warmed our faces, I couldn't help but feel hopeful. This has been a grey, dreary, winter. The climate, both meteorological and political, has been gloomy and threatening for months, but today, the sun broke through. It rose and shone and reminded us that it still exists; that warmth is as inevitable as frost, that even winter cannot last forever.

Tomorrow, winter has every intention of reasserting its place in our lives. The weatherfolk are predicting nearly a foot of snow here. If that should come to pass, I fully intend to celebrate the winter, under blankets in comfy clothes, if at all possible. Without winter, we might take spring for granted. 

Stay safe, stay warm, stay hopeful.

💙

Love: Reflections on a Revival

I had big plans to be a dutiful writer this month, to write daily, to be focused and diligent. It hasn't happened. It probably will going forward, but for the past few days I've been distracted, by love. I didn't plan it. I certainly wasn't expecting it, but somehow this weekend, I was bowled over by love.

Like most love stories, it started with a road trip to Pittsburgh. On Thursday I hit the road in a rented VW Jetta with my boss playing both navigator and DJ. We rested in Jonestown, and after a delicious hotel waffle, we continued our journey to the town of my father's birth.  

I had no idea what to expect of the weekend. I had a basic idea of the itinerary and the plan, and what we were there for, an Episcopal Revival in Pittsburgh. I had double-checked that neither tents nor snake handling would be part of the proceedings, but was really not sure what to expect. I certainly was not prepared for love.

But somehow, love overcame me. Maybe it was the leaders of many of Pittsburgh's denominations coming together to pray and sing together. Maybe it was the tears that flowed as my new friend Carrie prayed for me, the same way my Nanny used to, asking for healing and wisdom. Maybe it was watching as our Presiding Bishop brought tears of laughter to faith leaders from all walks of life, uniting them in joy and shared humanity. For three days, the people of Pittsburgh opened their hearts to us and in so doing, broke mine wide open. I don't know exactly how or when it happened, but suddenly, love is everywhere. It is lighting up the dark corners and I don't quite know what to do with myself. I came to Pittsburgh and left with a heart full of love.

And it's creeping into every experience. On the way home from Pittsburgh, the rental car surprised me with a tire blow out on a winding mountain highway. After securing the vehicle on the side of the road, I began making the typical "Help, I'm stranded" calls, but with a calm that truly passed understanding. A policeman stopped to offer help and kept my car safe until help arrived. The tow truck driver was kind and gentle and got me back on the road. I switched out cars in Altoona, and met a lovely man who owns both the rental car company and the airport restaurant. He carried my bag and told me how glad he was that I was safe and unharmed. Every interaction I've had over that past few days has been infused with kindness and love, I see it everywhere because it is everywhere. 

I've always been someone who tried to love fiercely, unabashedly, fearlessly, but in the last few years it has grown harder, Someone I loved hurt me so deeply, that fear crept in. I still loved, but worry and anxiety were always close at hand. I watched people use the God that I love as a battering ram and I worried that it would change the nature of God, but the nature of God is Love and love is stronger than we give it credit for. 

This weekend I was reminded of the power of love to break down barriers, to trample fear, to heal broken hearts and even to save us from our worst selves--our most human, selfish, brittle, cruel, frightened, frailties. Love has the power to change us and to change the lenses through which we see ourselves and one another. 

I am not a preacher. I am often filled with doubt. I am easily frustrated by hurtful people and I sometimes swear multiple times in a single sentence. I am incredibly, frustratingly human. I have no wisdom to offer, only love, lots and lots of love.

❤

Short Month Challenge: 28 posts in 28 days...

I haven't posted in over two years; which is really sad, considering that in those years a whole lot has happened. However, it's never too late to start over. 

For the month of February, I'm going to try this blogging thing again. With a challenge to write 28 posts in 28 days. If, at the end of the challenge, it seems like it's been worthwhile, you may be stuck with my meanderings. I guess we'll just have to see what the month brings. To start, a poem I wrote this morning. Poetry is not my strong suit. I have never quite understood the rules and usually great poetry, like great jazz, comes from those who know the rules well enough to dismantle them. However, sometimes you just have to be brave. 

If you're coming along on this journey, let me know! Comment, complain, commend--whatever suits your fancy and floats your boat. 

xo
Em



Poem for the first day of February, 2017

The news is dark, day-old burnt coffee bitter
And twitter is no escape
Just debates, about mad kings and old hates
Which emerge perennial and unbidden
From underground and hidden
Like the crocus I search for,
Any sign of spring, any sign that things
Might not be cold forever
That our leaders might get clever
That good too can burst through
That just because it cuts me
Doesn’t mean I have to cut you
If we’re all going to freeze, might as well huddle together
Masses pressed in to one another
Can’t be knocked down
Hold each other, love your brother
Eyes up from your phone, look around we’re not alone
Reach out, speak loud, be bold, love proud
Raise your song with the crowd
Trample hate. Do not be cowed